Journathology

Arise from the ashes, will I?

2006-07-31T21:39:07Z

Jawel! daar istie weer:D

A shit load has happend sinds the last time I wrote into thin air.
My band, my everything to a surtan extend, my lifeswork, y family, died and was buried, or burned to just float around in memories of the view people who care.

Weird, very weird indeed. I made the final decision, a decision that was ready to be made by anyone in the band anyways, I just beat them to the punch. I wrote the mail that changed my life, in more then one ways.
hesatating a view seconds before sending it, but I did. The final ending. Know what's funny? I wrote a song, my last song for Ambiossis, before the decision was made, know what it was called?
the final ending...

i went outside where my girl was and one of my closest friends, I sat down and it sank in, I cried....., I don't cry...ever....
After a view minutes it stopped and it was done, I moved on, there i nthat moment was my final goodbye to that great part of my life.
Future in my scope, plans in y thoughts, a new project, a new band. Sinds that time my body feels like an empty vessel, floating around in nothingness, waiting for a reason to arise again.

Don't get me wrong my girl and my family are everything to me, but music, it's hard to explain.
I've changed I guess, easilly annoyed, bad tempered, ill conseaved, a puny man. a sheltered creatured wondering aroudn without any clue or purpise. ( do I have dramatic flare or what?:P)

Still, people who know me, know that I am not the giving up type of human.
''I wil fight again, as long as people beleave in me, I wil fight again''

Arriving at the place we've gotta be
Loading out the shit we need
our roady working hard to get things in order
Soundguys makes our sound sweet, setting the border
Band is preparing itself to go insane
Croud is gathering, on the venue plaines
intro starts as our sweat starts to poor
lights goes on and we make for the backdoor
To enter the stage as the croud goes wild
And so we bring it, and we're bringing it with style
Getting up and smashing down
Entering a world where I'm never held down
Can do whatever the fuck I want
And let out all emotions all at once.
as the show ends and we say our goodbyes
The croud screams and I close my eyes
To soke up the vibe for one last time
We go backstage and we're feeling fine
Drinking our beers and taling about the show
till the moment we pack our stuff and head on home

Clint a.k.a Gobo

''When I'm on stage, all my headackes go away...''
Fred durst

ciaou tot snel

Where do you expect us to go when the bombs fall?

2006-07-03T21:32:27Z

Title of this peace is a part from the lyrics from a song from System of a down, listening to this cd a shitload lately...

My babe is in Spain having a great time and I am happy bout that. I'm in an emotional state of mind I guess, thoughts floating thorugh my mind bout a lot of stuff, inseccurity bout a lot of thingsm and unforunatly no-one there for me no more, where their used to be a lot of people ready to talk to me when I came online on msn or whatever people calling me on the phone,...hmmmm maybe I'm passe? and not the only thing I guess.

I hate the society I live in, it's made up of lies, fake smiles and people who reek of agression hate and pain. A depressing way of looking at the world I know, but it's a truthfull and honost way if you ask me.
People struggling to keep smiling, people working hard breaking backs on work they don't want to do, (inclueding me hehehehe)

Friends what is a friend? someone who stands by you through everything? don't believe in that crap no more, where I always tried to be there for everyone I learned a long time ago, no matter what happens never get to attached, just gives them a chance to stab you in your back even harder making the cut more purmanend.

Don't think I am depressed for one second, I'm just speaking out my thoughts on the world out loud at the moment, momentary thoughts no-one will hear or read. It's just coinsadance the words I speak aren't the happiest of all, but I never really speak out these kind of thoughts out loud, thought it was time to do so.

Like I said I'm an emotional person in times, and if so we tend to think back, and cherish the memories we hold close to our hearts, forgetting in an instand that those same memories hold negative thoughts and feelings as well, mostly connected to the positive ones.
Depends on the state of mind your in I guess.

''Let the guy wine or let um shut up'' you're right and I will now, hehehe.

Gobo

I'll never leave your heart...

2006-04-19T09:56:37Z

voor de mensen die dit berichtje wel lezen en mezelf whehehe, blijft een dagboek he

I got ingaged last weekend, yeah i know crazy eh1:0 but I'm happy as hell about it, more amazing is that she said yes whehehe. Bought a pretty ring, took her to a playground, and asked her if she wanted to get ingaged with me.
So I am gonna marry some day, no, no dates, we're young, first she has to finish her studies, and i have to find myself, and set foot on the ground again.

Also I got us a dog about 2 weeks ago, a black labrador, very cool dog.:) I'll put some pis of him on, as soon as I have some, his name is Tobi san Knob, but we just call him tobi hehehe.

gonna have to find a new job soon, wich sucks cause I am kinda gonna miss my colleges, work sucked so fuck that, but my colleges are cewl.

i'm wondering if I changed as a person the last view years or months, bad and good times altered my persepton maybe. Am I a good person? Where is my place and what am I supposed to do. Inevatable questions, when you live a life day by day, no plan just one huge gamble. A risky life, but one I feel confertable with, to a surtain extend.

Everyone i hurt I am sorry I did, Everyone who hurt me, or left me to rot, I haven't forgotten...

gobo

When everything around you falls apart

2006-03-02T18:21:17Z

Begging the sky to come up with an awnser

Knowing that nothing will happen at all

Somehow the world's moving faster

While i'm feeling like snapping, ready to fall

Grabbing my face, trying to tair it apart

Influences are shallow, but still fucking me up

Words that spread like wildfire, crawling through my heart

Searching for the way, to make these feelings stop

I wish I was much stornger, on the inside and out

Instead I am the weaker one, the one that can't hold himself together

The one who always pays attention to the crouds

Still who cares?....cause in the end it doesn't matter

Snapcase...

point of view

2006-02-13T09:13:56Z

Bills bills bills, it seems like I get them every damn day!
Is this the world we're living in, no real freedom, bounded by money, no real freedom anymore.
Bluh I woke up on the wrong side of my bed this morning, bitter aftertaste of last night, damn Soulfly shit..., tilburg is a long drive damnit!

It's not all bad thow, my baby and me are together for 22 months, almost that is. And I still love her to death!

Got some gigs coming up, but somehow I don't really fancy playing that much anymore. The scene is thinning out, national bands get no fucking respect, everyone is so damn spoiled and they really act that way as well.

Doesn't really matter how good ya play, if it's not local or not international, they won't listen and defanitly won't go with the flow. Sometimes I really hate the way people think, if this keeps up, the dutch metal and rock scene will dry up and die out, mock my words.

Yeah I know stop complaining, and so i will!:)

dreadfull_days @ 2005-11-03T02:39:00

2005-11-03T01:42:44Z

Party on!!!

cd is done, pressures gone, now it's just time to party, and party we shall, so come one, come all!!!

By the way, me and my babe just celabrated our one and a half year together, hooray for us, whehehe.

see you all soon:)

Gobo,

www.ambiossis.nl

dreadfull_days @ 2005-10-05T12:26:00

2005-10-05T10:35:40Z

Maybe some day some how

everything will turn around but

untill that day will come my task is still undone so

I keep on preparing for this

this thing I do not know of

I feel my soul creep out

and live a life of it's own

I'm getting old, hehe

2005-10-04T11:51:06Z

Olla mi amigos

Time flies, has wings, never tiers, always passes you by, never taking a break.

I just turned 22, big ass party @ my little flat in Lelydorp, thank you all for coming it was a fucking blast! I never knew 35 people could fit in my flat whehehe.

After some people through up all over the place, inclueding over other people, I ain't using no names haha.

All together it was great fun, drinks drugs and music, let's do it again soon!

This week the cd is being finallized, mastered and stuff allmost done!!! can't wait, with some luck it'll be sold @ our next gig the 22nd of October in The Underground @ Aaltjesrock.

Shame I don't have any pics of the party yet, but I'll post some the next time.

Till then...

Grtz Gobo

Loud and pruod!

2005-09-08T23:49:42Z

With the scream of Finch's, ''She burns'' I'm starting of this meesage...

It's been awhile again, and a lot has happend. The recordings for our debut album are finished, and the album will probably be released around October, yes, that IS very soon indeed!:). fun fact is that Yoav from cancelled is featuring on this album, also dj stubbs is hitting the mix.

Loud Noise bookings signed us, so we'll probably be doing a lot of gigs @ the end of this year.

Also I'm trying out for another band, Nomen Peter from kink fm is the one who asked me. Different music and style, I'll see what happens...

Still loving my babe as well, going on 17 months next week, seems much shorter, love her to death, she can be a burden, but she's a women so she can't help it:P hehehehe, (kidding)

I'll close of with some lyrics...

As you cradle me to sleep and my eyes are closed by words.

the wounds don't seem to be all that deep.

Take care!

Snapcase

2005-08-16T19:22:46Z

Greetings

Alianated from this place. But no matter no one ever reads the shit I put down hehehe.

The recordings of our first album, yes you read it right, album! are finished, and I can honestly say that this shit sounds wicked!

Only thing left to do is the mixing, wich will be done by the lovely mister Sander moehahahahaha, our soundidiot:P ( kidding:))

If everything goes accordingly, Snapcase will be released in October.

Snapcase holds 11 songs on it, and where the sucker will be sold, I don't know, but if I do, you will to!

here are some pics we took a week ago->

bandpics

Check you guys on the flipside...

Gobo

A long long time ago...

2005-06-27T11:39:04Z

Hey peops

It's been a while busy times so not a lot of time spent on my pc.

LAst Friday we did a gig in The Underground, it rocked, you guys can jump high as hell!!!:)

(pictures from another gig)

Our album will be recorded in August, and will probably be released in Januari, that's a long way away I know.

My computers acting all fucked up again, so I'll have to re-install my windows, bummer.

My gardens done, had our first bbq as well, bbq = goooood!:)

We're being interviewed by kink fm July 5th, between 22:00 and 00:00, so tune in!

I'm pretty busy preparing for the album, with is a lot of work, mind you!

Well, talk you guys later, and look out for that upcoming album!

GrtZ Gobo

Waiting for something...

2005-05-31T07:25:53Z

Well hello there...

My last entry was quite a while ago, but who cares right?

We did a gig in The Underground together with Cancelled and Koroded the 21st of May, the whole night was kinda chillin' and cewl.

We got a short notice offer to go to Poland with the band, but unfortunatly that was called of at the last moment, too bad.

I', still waiting for conformation about recording the cd, waiting for something, something to happen...(Right koen?:P)

Well, it's tii damn early to be thinkin' 'bout the past and what I've been doin', so first of, I'm grabbing myself a coffee, check you all later...

GrtZ Gobo

Pooring rain

2005-05-11T15:22:16Z

The last couple of days were some wet days, working outside, is so much less appealing when theres rain involved...

Last weekend we mastered a second song for my band, turned out pretty cool.

http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=11363584&Mytoken=20050508104137

We're playing the Underground in Lelystad in a week or so, the 21st to be exact, looking forward to that...

Also looking forward to this weekend, I'm growing tired of the passing week, and want to relax, and be with my girl

My foods in the oven, so I'll just go and check up on it, so it won't burn my house down:)

Greetings to all, and have a fun weekend!!! (I know, early, so what? a man can dream can't he?)

Gobo

Queensday, and beer

2005-05-01T16:36:49Z

Weather could've been better, but what the hey?

Queensday, beer and jointday, goa central, Amsterdam, dancing, and drinking, talking and smoking a joint. Yeah, it was kinda fun:)

First we went to the AH, in A'dam to get some more beer, after that winnie, Remy, Kelly and me left for Frederiksplein, where there was a small goa party going on, haden't been for a while so...

After a while Remy left for home, and we decided to go to the other party west of Central Station, equally small, but more peops I new, My ex girlfriend for example...

After dancing the rest of the evening and the beginning of the night, the music stopped, and we decided, weak as we are, to call it a day, I had an appoitment the next day, witch was kinda important so...

After a good nights sleep, and a sweet breakfest for my girl, (if I do say so myself:P), I went of for busniss with the band...

Now, I'm waiting for my pizza to arrive, and writing this stuff down, (like duh)

Later, and goodbye

Gobo a.k.a Dreadfull days

Damn my computer...

2005-04-27T14:34:57Z

ell, hello there

My computers acting fucked up, so now I'm writing a little update from another computer.

Last weekend, Remco visited from Haarlem, some boarding, and soccer resulted in mayor muscle pains, but what the hey right?
We also went to check De Samboras (support the scene), and Van Katoen...
Sound sucked, nothing new thow, croud was minimal, etc so overall, beer saved the day.
And damn man, paying for the restroom is so passee:P

This weekend is unplanned, except for Sunday, on witch Ambiossis is having a meeting with some guys about a recorddeal and such.
Next week, we're playing on Bevrijdingsfest Almere, main stage, from 18:15 till 19:00, so come and check it out!

I'm eating at my parents place tonight, after that I'm gonna try reviving my own computer, so hope to talk to you all later...

GrtZ

Gobo a.k.a Dreadfull days

A breeve moment of selfreflection

2005-04-19T10:43:05Z

Soo, I just put down a whole freakin' storie, and for some stupid reason everything was erased, soooo I have to start over again, damn...

I was just saying, that I woke up to the sounds of my friend Aaron waking up in the livingroom, and realised that had only slept for like 6 hours, but what the hey, right?

Tried to go back to sleep, but invayne, so I decided to gog and listen to the recordings witch we have to mix down next month, although some aren't finished yet, they still bring forth the right feeling in my gut, even thow it's my own band, some parts of the songs make me shiver...

www.ambiossis.nl

I've got to go to work in like an hour, I'm still not really used to the new scedule, even thow I just have to start half an hour earlier...

My cat has to go to the fet tomorrow, (you know Dierenarts:P) and I'm pretty sure that after his visite he'll pretty much hate our guts:P:)

I'm missing my girl, although it's only been one day, I can't help it, feelings there can't denie it, happy she's coming home today:)

I'll just put down some lyrics of mine, and scram...see you all later...

Remove the dirt

Couplet

Questions arise quiker then, the anwsers desend to mind.

Blurry becomes when you choose to life your live like this.

When curiousity storms, you must be equiped with an iron fist.

Make your mind indestructable, unpenatrable,

Then you're ready to walk upon, the edge of a knive,

upon the road called live.

Then you're ready to walk upon the edge of a knive,

upon the road called live.

Refrein

Steal my breath, while I am watching,

Make me believe we can life beyond what we hold dear,

make the fear just dissapear

Open my eyes, without ever soiling

I won't fall,

Down.....I won't fall down again

Couplet

Is the end truelly the end, or does it mark another beginning.

Stay close, I'll keep you from tumbling down.

Melladramticly raise a frown, upon a spectator, a growthhater.

Shield yourself from all the critics and difference.

Then you're ready to walk upon, the edge of a knife,

upon the road called live.

Then you're ready to walk upon, the edge of a knife,

You're ready now...

Brug

Not a lot of people get to where we are right now

Single celled emotions recallebrate right now

Never give up, never give in

Keep your eye on the ball, and you'll do just fine, you'll do fine.

Not a lot of people know my place

of settlement

Not a lot of people know my space

my ignorance

Refrein

Steal my breath, while I am watching,

Make me believe we can life beyond what we hold dear,

make the fear just dissapear

Open my eyes, without ever soiling

it won't fall

Down.....I won't fall down again

Brug

Save them from drowning in their own selfconsiousness

They don't understand, they'll never understand

Knowing can be cursing, cause of damaging demands

Wich they don't understand, they'll never undertsnad

The plan...

Refrein/Outro

Steal my breath, while I am watching,

Make me believe we can life beyond what we hold dear,

make the fear just dissapear

Open my eyes, without ever soiling

it won't fall

Down...

And I wonder...

2005-04-19T00:40:15Z

Hi

not that it matters that much, cause I don't think a lot of people are reading this, but fuck that...

Had an unpleasan, yet pleasant change of workscedule today, witch led to me being home one hour earlier every day, exept for friday...

Aaron is staying over tonight, the dudes allready resting his head, and who can blame him, it's 2.37.

Missing my lady, but she's coming home tomorrowevening after school, we just celebrated our first year together!

Well time for me to go to bed, have to get up at 10.30, (no, your right, wahat am I bitchin' about:))

Well hope you all sleep well, kisses to my babe, and steef jij komt binnenkort hierheen, en Remoco tot dit weekend mijn vriend!

GrtZ Gobo a.k.a Dreadfull days

A year of agony:P

2005-04-16T21:59:47Z

Just kidding:)

Today's me and my girl's one year annuvursery, so bring out the champagne, and gimme some lovin', and then we'll party like it's.....ok, I'll shut up now.

speak to you all later...

GrtZ Gobo a.k.a Dreadfull_days

My first Thursday with lj, whoohoo...

2005-04-14T16:15:40Z

Hi Ya'll

My girl is lying in my bed, let's not go into that to much, hehehe.

After another day of work, I came home to a mom who was organising my whole paperwork, thanks mom, yesterday I got 7 movies to watch with, my babe, all films she likes, so beforehand, babe I'm sorry if I fall asleep:P

Think I'll send Steve a mail after posting this, you know the guitarist from 36 Crazyfists, you don't know um?

We'll here we are chillin' after an interview by Cosmo for Roar e-zine.

Steve and me, just chillin:P

Well, I'll be chowing down some spaghetti tonight, so I'd better kick my babe into the kitchen, (just kidding:P)

Watching a movie tonight also, to enyone who reads, have a good night...

GrtZ Gobo a.k.a Dreadfull_days

Diet pills to keep me from sleepimg

2005-04-13T13:54:58Z

Pfff, aanother day in the ditches, after a really heavy, cewl, freaky night, at the Melkweg, (from first to last, twelve tribes and 36 Crazyfists!!!), I got to bed at around 2 o'clock in the freakin' mornin', just to wake up 3 hours later, and go to work.

Winnie thought some ephedra would do the job of keeping me awake, so I wouldn't seriously hurt myself while working.

It did the trick allright, I'm still awake...

Last night was cewl, had a long chat with the guitarist of the 36 Crazyfists and cosmo, (you rock!), and the guy listend to our new recorded song,''Remove the Dirt''>>> www.ambiossis.nl

It was a big compliment when he said the song was very cewl, and wanted a copy of it.

Now I'm gonna try and get that damn recorddeal of the ground, so I'll keep the view people who might read this posted, later!

GrtZ Gobo

People in my live

2005-04-11T19:08:22Z

Some Pics to give you a clue, about my life

Me and my love

The stage is my freedom

My cat, 'Peer'

More pics will surely follow...

GrtZ Gobo a.k.a Dreadfull_Days

Joining the croud

2005-04-11T18:06:09Z

Hello all you happy people.

Just a short and boring introduction, you were warned!
My name is Clint a.k.a gobo it's not gobo here, cause someone beat me to that name so, voila, Dreadfull_days was born.

I'm a metaphoric guy, so don't take my nickname too serious, I got dreads, and walk through my days, that's what the name stands for, and nothing else.

Most of my time, I spend with my girl, my friends, or my band.
My band is called Ambiossis, We play Crossover metal, mixing styles with a metal flava,(masta my man:)) I'll be talking about it a lot, so if you're not really into music, you may be in the wrong place.
My girlfriends name is Kelly, she's got a livejournal thingy as well, don't really know the name of the sucker, but I'll find out, eventually.
She's living with me in Lelystad, we got a little apartment, and a cat called 'peer'.
My truest friends know exactly who they are, and I will protect them with bloody hands, they know me for who I really am, not a lot of people do.

When I figure this whole thing out, (how livejournal works and stuff), I'll post some pics of the little monster, (my cat, not my girlfriend:P)

intrested in my band? check out our site:
www.ambiossis.nl

I'll be checking in soon!, laters

GrtZ Gobo a.k.a Dreadfull_days